Happy Birthday to my son!! I hope I'm not ruining you.

My first born turned 7 today and I looked at him and realized that we are doing a pretty good job with him. I find myself questioning my abilities as a mother. Am I too strict? Am I strict enough? Am I using the right words with him so that he does not grow up a serial killer that can blame his mom?
(Thanks, Criminal Minds!!)

So, I thought I would look back and see if we should be worried...

Max's 1st Birthday and he couldn't 

handle the pressure

When he thought he had this only child thing in the bag, he was foiled and Mommy's belly was evidence of an impending nightmare that visits to Disneyland could not stop but at least made less painful for him..

We never wanted to stifle his creativity..

We want him to enjoy the outdoors..

He loves nature and its creatures...

Well, so far, I think we are doing a great job. As long as we keep that sparkle in his eye and his good natured soul within him, he will be alright!!

Happy Birthday Max, I love you!!

Here are a few of what "eye" see.
(Click on the pics to see a bigger version)


My husband gave me an earful when I took this pic on a bridge somewhere near Santa Barbara. He was certain I was going to get blown away due to the sheer force of the winds brought on by this beast.

Shortly after I took this picture, I was almost bitten in the face by a rattle snake. It was shaking its rattler so fast and loudly that I thought it was rushing water coming from somewhere that I could not see. Once I saw him, I was outta there.

I needed to "take a walk" and found myself strolling through the Fairview Nature Preserve at sunset and to what do I owe the honor of the presence of one glorious Red Tailed Hawk perched so gracefully as if to say, "Look at me." I have no idea except that they really like it there. They have made nests in the trees above our homes every year since I can remember and this year we got to watch the babies learn to fly. Hilarious!!

This beauty lives in the Butterfly House at the Environmental Nature Preserve in Newport Beach. I think he/she is quite happy there.

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A New Life

I've been away, but I am back.

Once again, life was in charge and I had to let the writing take a back seat.

I found another love in my life aside from my husband and children, it's photography. My children take me to fun places like the Environmental Nature Preserve in Newport Beach and the Fairview Nature Preserve in Costa Mesa. These places allow for some of the most breathtaking sights, like a butterfly "taking a wife" as my children understand it to be or a chrysalis daintily hanging from a single thin thread waiting for it's precious cargo to emerge in all of it's glory.

My wonderful husband gave me a Nikon D3100 Digital camera for our anniversary and I haven't put it down since. I either have great talent or the camera just knows what to do and when to do it. Must be the latter.

So, I think I might just shake things up a bit and start posting some of my work. Who knows where it might take me. For starters, you may have noticed the new cover page shot... yes, my doing.

I will be posting pictures and comments more often, so stay tuned....

It's been a long time..

It has been a long time since I've written. It pains me to think that life has gotten in the way of my writing. But, if anything were to get in my way, I imagine that there is no better thing than life.

Toddlers..work..marriage..dinner..the treacherous bedtime

I was very lucky to be able to stay home with my littlest guy for about 2 1/2 years before I had to go back to work. It was certainly one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do, go back to work that is. I've managed to make a few friends that I would seriously consider hanging out with outside of work but otherwise, eh.

Then, I realized that there was something much harder...Juggling!!

Juggling a full time job, the raising of two very bullish little boys, maintaining a fulfilling marriage and getting to sleep at a decent hour. Oh wait, I forgot about picking up the kids from school, making dinner, homework, laundry, bath time, dishes, bedtime and then whatever I didn't finish before putting the kids to bed. Bed time for me comes much later.

I leave you with these words because I have to get the kids to bed. I will be back soon.

Some people are still clueless

I had a conversation with the receptionist at my dentist's office and she asked if I was working.

I said, "No, not right now. I was in the mortgage business."

She asked if I had quit my job.

I said, "No. I was in the mortgage industry. It is the reason for our failed economy."

She looked at me and said, "What do you mean?"

Now, I was the confused one. I asked her if she had any idea about what had gone on with the economy and the mortgage industry taking a dive.

She said, and I quote, "No, I guess I should start watching the news or something."

My first thought was, "Is this girl an idiot? How can she have no idea? We are teetering on the edge of a depression. A million people are losing their homes and she has NO IDEA!!!!!"

My second thought was, "Wow, lucky her..She is completely unaffected by the economy. The only one!!"

I am still perplexed by how completely ignorant people can be and that it is people like her that will keep our planet on a down-slope. What do I mean? Well, if she is completely blind to the state of our nation, what else is she blind to? Global warming? The atrociously disgusting treatment of the human race in places like Darfur? The horrible effects of human waste on our only planet, our only life source?

I get increasingly worried every time I see a dead bee. Small and scary to some but detrimental to the survival of the human race on planet Earth. My 3 year old son Max points and says, "Look mama, another dead bee." about 10 times a day. This is very scary. I am concerned that we aren't seeing more coverage on TV about this issue. Only once in a while will I see a story about situations surrounding bees. Like the bee keepers that are going out of business and losing their homes because entire bee colonies are dying right under their noses and they don't know why. They called it Colony Collapse Disorder. Bees are abandoning their colonies. Now, I am not sure that this is related to the various dead bees that I see on the sidewalk but this is serious, none the less.

My only hope is that Obama really recognizes the dire situation ahead of us. I know that the environment is deep in his heart but I only hope it is not too late to fix our planet. Because when it is all said and done, those "fiscal republicans" will not have a planet to piss on and nowhere to put their money that won't matter anyway because there won't be anything to buy and no fancy dinners to feast on because there won't be any bees to polinate the produce and crops to feed the cow that will be their steak.

Where did the year go???

I have decided something...

Since the years go by so quickly, it isn't really where you are going nor where you have been, but where you are right now. Of course, where I have been has built who I am today but I have the power to change that. I watch my children and so much happens right now. A smile, a giggle, the pincer grasp, new words, using the toilet and saying, "Goodbye to diapers." All of the most important things are happening right now. And every day, something important is happening.

I realize that we cannot forsee the future. We do not know where it leads. Death usually comes as a surprise so, now is really all that we've got. This means that I must keep moving right now in whatever way that makes me happy. Whether it be walking, running, weight lifting, Yoga, whatever. It's all the same. It not only keeps me healthy but balances my state of mind.

I realize that keeping my cool right now is important because it builds my children's characters. If I yell, so do they. If I blow off the handle, it will be all that they know. Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

My older son will be 3 and my baby will be 1. This tells me that I won't have a baby in the house any longer. This makes me a bit sad and nostalgic. No, I am not going to have another baby. As much as I love it, I am relieved that those very difficult yet beautiful moments are soon to be behind me. The sleepless nights will not be missed. The constant need for my infant's need for me. My constant worry that something horrific will happen in the middle of the night. Hmm, I am sure that that particular feeling never goes away when it comes to our children. No matter how old they are.

It is true...what really matters is right now!! Right NOW!!!

Live for now. Play with your children. Love your husband. Love your wife. Go for a ride to your favorite place. Book a trip to somewhere you've never been.

Just live!!!!